The Last Few Minutes….

Time runs so fast. I still can’t believe that the physical body of the person closest to me has turned back into ashes. He’s still with me, but he’s now inside an urn. I wasn’t able to talk to him before he died. He was struggling to breathe deeply while his eyes were wide opened.

He cried for the first time. I never saw him cry before. His tears fell down from his eyes, but he never said anything. There were no last words because he wasn’t able to speak anymore.

2 hours before he died, I was able to call PGH and schedule for an ambulance to pick up my dad while he’s still alive. I dialed 554-8400, and the automatic voice prompted. I was then connected to the ambulance department.

Jehzeel:Hello po. Kelangan ko po ng ambulance. Masyadong mahina na tatay ko, kelangan ko po siya dalhin sa PGH.
PGH Operator: San po ang location nila?
Jehzeel: Manila area po, near SM San Lazaro
PGH Operator: Hindi namin convered ang area na yan. Isakay niyo nalang sa taxi. *Unpolitely speaking*
Jehzeel: Hindi na po siya makalakad. Masyadong mahina na.
PGH Operator: Ehdi buhatin niyo tapos isakay niyo sa taxi.
Jehzeel: May stage 4 cancer po siya, kelangan ko sana e admit today.
PGH Operator: E bat nasa bahay niyo lng? Wala sa hospital?
Jehzeel: Kasi po na discharge na siya 2 weeks ago. Then nanghina ulit ngayon. Kelangan ko ulit e admit, pero sa PGH na kasi mahal ang USTH. Nakuha ko na din ang medical records for transfer.
PGH Operator: So anong gagawin namin dyan? Kami mag a-alaga nyan? Dahil mahal ang USTH, ililipat niyo na sa PGH, tama po ba?
Jehzeel: Opo, kelangan ko na po ng ambulance now para ma admit na namin siya sa PGH.
PGH Operation: Ano bang status ng patient ngayon? Pag emergency yan, pwede namin pick-up, tawag ka ulit sa hotline namin tapos pa transfer ka to emergency.

I called PGH again and followed the instructions of the PGH Operator guy.

Jehzeel: Hello? I need an ambulance po, emergency po sana, hindi na makahinga tatay ko.
PGH Emergency Guy: San ang location nila?
Jehzeel: Manila po, near SM San Lazaro.
PGH Emergency Guy: Ay hindi kami aabot sa lugar na yan. Within 2 kilometers lng kami. Tawag ka nalang sa ibang ambulance, like sa Red Cross.
Jehzeel: Ok po.

I then tweeted that I hate PGH and blah blah blah. Good thing Ria Barretto of Nuffnang BBMed me and gave me a contact number of Ace Cor Ambulance service, after reading my tweet. Right after I received the number I called Ace Cor and scheduled for an ambulance pick-up to our residence. They said that they will arrive in 45 minutes to 1 hour.

To make sure that an ambulance will arrive on time, I also called the emergency hotline 117 and they forwarded me to the Philippine Red Cross. 117 told me to put the phone down because they will contact me in a few seconds. At that time, my father is struggling to breath. He’s now inhaling and exhaling faster than normal. I panicked, but not in an obvious manner. I called 117 again because they didn’t call me after 1 minute. I told them to hurry because my dad is obviously having a hard time breathing.

Our neighbors were now watching outside, trying to figure out what’s happening inside our house. A lot of things happened and I cannot remember every detail. My dad just stopped breathing at 6:45PM last November 15, 2011. His eyes were wide opened when he died. I still didn’t lose hope and I think that he’s still alive. I borrowed an oxygen tank from our neighbor. And I also found out that there’s a registered nurse next door.

The nurse told me that my father had no pulse and he was now gone. I still can’t believe it and I think that he just stopped breathing for a while and he can still be revived. The Red Cross ambulance arrived after 30 minutes, and they said that they will not pick-up the patient anymore because he’s already dead. I asked if they can bring my dad’s body to USTH, but they refused.

My neighbors told me that I should just bring the body directly to the funeral home, so that I will not pay extra hospital bills if I rush my dad to the emergency room of USTH. I didn’t agree with them and told them that I will still bring my dad to the hospital and hope for a miracle.

After an hour, the Ace Cor ambulance arrived. Ace Cor is a private and paid ambulance, that’s why they didn’t refuse wherever I want to bring my dad. We then proceeded to USTH ER and I told the ER staff to revive my dad. They asked me twice if I’m still willing to revive him, because they will try all their best to revive the patient. I said yes. They tried hard and did whatever they could, but after 10 minutes, the doctor asked me again that there will be complications and his ribs might break. I still asked them to revive and I hoped for a miracle. After 15 minutes, they said that my dad is really dead and we can’t revive him anymore. If they will try harder, nothing will happen.

I don’t wanna let go, but I have to. I’m at the brink of agony on that very moment. I still can’t believe that my father passed away. I want to force myself and believe that I was just inside a dream, inside a very bad nightmare.

I’m still smiling that time, but deep inside, I’m full of pain. I never cried, but deep inside, my heart is mourning. I settled my hospital bills and brought my dad’s body to St. Peter Funeral home. My friends and family gathered and visited my dad’s wake. Some of my close friends and relatives wasn’t able to come. They just sent their condolences via e-mail and SMS.

A few days passed, I have learned to accept that my dad is now resting in peace. My dad’s remains were cremated last November 19, 2011. It’s really painful. I wasn’t able to buy the piano that he wants, the bike that he wants, and some material things that he wants. I wasn’t able to bring him abroad as I promised him. He has a passport, because I asked him to get one. It’s still unmarked and I’m very sad that I wasn’t able to extend his life for a few months or years so that we can travel together abroad. I think what I did for him wasn’t enough.

Now I’m back online. It’s time to work again and pay my debts.

PS: Thanks to everyone who lent me some cash to help pay my dad’s hospital bills. Thanks also to all of my online and offline friends who donated blood to my tatay. He said that if he will survive cancer, he will donate blood to you as well when you will need it sometime in the future. But sadly, he didn’t. Once again, thanks to all of you. You know who are and you will never be forgotten. :wink:

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169 thoughts on “The Last Few Minutes….

  1. :oops: WTH! That is one thing I hate about ambulances… Parang they aren’t trained for emergencies… grabe talaga… aside sa mabagal umaksyon, peperahan ka pa….

    Anyway, I’m so sorry about the news Jehz and yes, just pray always since your dad is listening to you naman.

    Don’t blame yourself too much… I’m sure your dad knows that you have so many plans for him… And I’m sure too that whatever endeavors you are into, he’s always there to guide you… So be strong for him. :wink:

    • oo nga eh.. tsk tsk tsk.. emergency na nga, parang wala lang sa kanila. Pero kung kamag-anak nila yun, malamang tumakbo na agad yung operator para masagip ang kamag-anak hehhee.

  2. Pingback: The Last Few Minutes…. | Nyok Nyok

  3. I can imagine how frustrating that was. I remember nung bigla din nag-collapse dad ko. Every second really counts. I am disappointed with how the PGH hotline operator answered the call. Insensitive much :|

    Jehz, i know that your dad is grateful because you were a good son to him. Ginawa mo ang LAHAT to make him happy and help him survive or at least lessen the pain that he’s feeling. Alam ko masakit din for you to see him in that condition. I should know. 8 months ko din na-observe yan sa dad ko. Isipin mo na lang na at least you spent more time with him the past few years at di ka pabayang anak. Isipin mo na lang din na at least di na siya nagsusuffer and he will guide you now in life. He surely appreciates everything you’ve done for him. :)

    Let this be a new chapter in your life. I know you have lots of problems right now, pero kaya mo yan. Concentrate and hardwork lang. Move on and let go. Acceptance is the key, but i know it will take quite sometime.

    I am wishing you all the best in life, Jehz. I may not be able to help you out financially, but i’m still here for you. Time to go back online and work again. You can do it! AJA! :twisted:

  4. Jehz, I know for sure your dad is in a better place now in HIS paradise, just like me I just l lost my dad too, remember to live life to the fullest and enjoy it, learn live love. :)

  5. Jehz, I’m sure your dad is very, very proud of everything you have done in your life and specially what you have done for him.

    Cheer up… his soul is now in heaven… at tinuturuan na nya ang mga angels doon kung paano mag-solve ng Sudoku puzzles. :D

  6. Bro hindi ko alam kung anu magiging reaction ko pero naiinis ako sa Management ng PGH ..porket public hospital sila binabalewala nila ang mga ordinaryong tao… Pero iniisip ko na lang may Plan si God sayo at kay dad mo po… Sure na sure ako proud si dad mo sayo… Sa narating mo now sa life mo.. Magpatuloy ka lang.. Maraming proud sayo… Isa na ako dun… Salamat talaga bro. God Bless You more….

  7. im so sorry for your lost… my deepest condolences jehz… sorry i didnt attend the wake of your father… im sure your dad is so proud of you and your achievements in life… i think he is in a happier place now… be strong… may araw din ang PGH…

  8. curse PGH.. I don’t usually say bad words.. but that freaking PGH Operator deserved it.. kainis.. ang sama nila.. palibhasa hindi nila kamaganak ung at risk.. anu kya saknila mangyari un.. :-x .. kainis tlga..

    Pero kuya, I know may mga dahilan kung nangyayari ang mga bagay2x.. I’m sure wherever your dad is, he’s definitely happy.. wla n xa sa magulong mundong meron tyo ngayon.. He’s sitting beside God now and his happy.. :) I’m sure with that..

    again, sa mga nagbalewala sayo (for an ambulance) malakas ang tama ng karma.. :-x

  9. Jehz, your post made me realize how precious the time we have for our parents, especially when they’re already old. :)

    #occupyPGH :evil:

  10. Jehz… condolence.. hmmm kaya mo yan.. andito ang blog-o-sphere upang makiramay sayo… I’m sure your dad is very proud that he has a son like you.. wooott!!! :mrgreen: Be happy that your dad is in a better place.. :-D

  11. Nakikiramay ako master Jehz… ~_~
    naramdaman ko ang nasa loobin mo sa mga panahon na ‘to, sapagka’t naranasan ko rin ang mawalan ng isang ama. ang nde ko lang naranasan ay ung makikipag-usap sa mga nde makataong taga-PGH na ‘yan. :evil:

    just keep on prayin’ nalang, alam kung masaya na rin ang dad mo sa kinalalagyan nya ngaun, very proud sya dahil nakita ka nyang lumaki na isang mabait at masunurin na anak. :)

    at oras na para bumangon at ipagpatuloy ang laban sa buhay.. 8)

    Godbless!*

  12. After reading the detailed story, I just don’t know what to say.
    I want to say something bad about those who you’ve contacted to ask for an emergency help for their abrupt responses, but I know wala na tayong magagawa.

    Siguro magandang isipin nga na he’s out of suffering na din. Minsan merong talagang mga realities na sana di na lang realities.

    Sana you’ll be okay soon.

    • Thansk Gian. And thanks din sa pagpunta sa USTH and for donating blood, kahit hindi pumasa, you’ve waited til 5pm. :guilty:

      Nahiya nga me sayo kasi matagal u nag hintay.. Pero thanks ulit for all the help. :)

  13. The operator always receive those kind of emergency calls everyday, nsawa na yata sa trabaho dapat umalis n lang sya kasi buhay ang nkasalalay sa job nya.

    Sa mga operator, kapag wala sa mood magtake ng calls ipasa sa ibang willing tumulong.

    Jehz, condolence again. Punta ko dyan.

  14. I must say Kuya Jehz that wherever your dad is right now, I’m sure he is very happy because he knows that he has a good, loving and responsible son like you. He might be smiling right telling “I’m very proud of the success of my son – ANAK KO YAN!”

  15. condolences man..

    got to admit laking jerks ang mga nasa PGH, nakalimutan na ba nila na government hospital sila? at tungkulin nila ang pasyente? sa gyera lang ata ako nakakakita ng mga nurses at doctor na ganun, kahit kalaban eh tutulungan, eto pera ata ang nasa isip.. oh well

  16. Sir Jehz,

    I am just a spectator of your blog, but after reading this i can’t help but react. My condolences, i can’t imagine the pain and frustration, i just pray that those PGH people won’t experience the same frustration when their time would come…

    Again sir Jehz my condolences…

  17. God will definitely show you the way to smiling again. I know this experience will change you forever. Just remember all the good times you shared with your father and all the love he gave you throughout the years. He is not gone. He will live in your heart forever.

    Your strength inspires me. I know the loss of your father is not easy to deal with. But the way your are handling it and helping your family is truly amazing.Your father would be so proud of the person you have become.

    I will always be here for you. *hugs*

  18. I feel how you feel. My father and my mother also died with me and I felt their extreme agony before they passed away. It’s a great regret if there are things left undone for our loved ones. Until now, I can’t just totally forget that farewell scene. Wala man sila ngayon, meron pa ding ibang mga tao na dapat nating pagtuunan ng pagmamahal at panahon. Maybe if we could only do our role, we won’t anymore regret about anything if our other loved ones leave us. Makakagawa pa din tayo ng mabuting bagay sa ibang mga mahal natin at ating kapwa! Let’s go on with our life with real purpose of living for others.

    • Thanks for sharing Glenn.. Oo nga.. kaka lungkot talaga… hayyyyyyyyyyyyy… sana nananaginip lng ako ngayon at biglang magising and andyan lng pala tatay ko nanonood ng TV. :sowi:

  19. kaya mo yan bro!..we all know that your dad is so much proud of you and masaya na sa heaven un….

    well its time to start again a new life…nuod na ulit tyo ng movies…and lets work online again! :)

  20. Hi po kuya Jehz.. condolence po kuya..kaya pala antagal mong di din nagparamdam. Naalala ko tuloy tatay ko na nagkaron ng colon cancer.. grabe..kakaawa talaga dahil sobrang payat na niya. Stage four din ang kaibahan lang siya na admit at di na chemo kasi walang pera… :(

    • oo grabe mahal ng chemo talaga.. dami ko nga utang eh. Kinapalan ko na mukha ko sa ibang tao para maka hiram kahit konti. Almost million din yung expenses, hindi pa kasali chemo. Hirap din wala siyang health card, buti nlng senior citizen sya at may philhealth, naka less me ng konti sa gastos. 1 session of chemo lng na afford ko… O_O

      Kelan lng nag karoon ng colon cancer tatay u? Matagal na? O_O

  21. I didn’t know he liked a piano… I have one that I have not used for eight years and I was actually looking for a buyer during college days… I will always remember the twinkle in his eye and the very nice and genuine smile that I believe you inherited from him. And all this love for puzzles began with him as well. Much of who you are is from him, and so even when he has gone ahead (I hate calling it for what it is), his legacy lives on in the wonderful person that you are. At the hospital, when you weren’t looking at him, he looked at you with that proud beam on his face. And while you say that you have not done enough, I believe he appreciated everything especially during the last minutes. It is but natural for us to feel that we never do enough for the ones we love the most. And when they die, a part of us dies with them, irreplaceable. Though our combined presences and all these words will never be enough to fill in the void left by your dad, we want you to know that we are here anyway.

  22. *hugs*

    Nasabi na nila lahat ng gusto kong sabihin. You, your dad and your family will be in my prayers, Jehz. Stay strong. And sabi nga nila, I’m sure, your dad is proud of you. Continue living your life to the fullest kasi he’s watching over you now. Think of him as another guardian angel. :)

  23. Wow. Naiyak ako sa last part (so touching!). :-o Condolences, Sir Jehz. That’s right.. it’s only his physical self gone.. Anjan naman siya sa taas nagbabantay parin (minus all the earthly stress). :)

    *chanting to myself* Hmmm.. sana huntingin ng karma yung operator na yun. :arruyyy:

    I just want to say that I really admire you po Sir Jehz! :) Good day po sa inyo and God bless. :)

  24. Please accept my condolences Jehz. While I was reading what you went through, I can’t help but remember what happened to my Dad when he had a cardiac arrest at home way back in 1992 (my brother was able to revive him but the ambulance arrived about 45 agonizing minutes later. My Dad lived few months more), in a way I have a feeling what you feel right now. Let me assure you though that God will give you strength, my prayers go out for your Dad and you.

  25. Kaya mo iyan Jhezeel. Nuong mamatay tatay at kapatid ko. nalungkot din ako ng sobra. Kapag nag-iisa pa nga ako dati ay napapaiyak pa ako. Pero habang tumatagal, paunti-unti ko na ring natatanggap ang nangyari.

  26. So sorry to here about your dad.. MAhirap pala maasahan ang PGH sa mga ganyang bagay. Alam ko malapit lang sa PGH yun San Lazaro ah.. Anyway.. Kaya mo yan. I think it is your father’s time. Condolence and I pray for your comfort.

  27. Nakakalungkot to. And shame dun sa nagrecieve ng call sa PGH.
    Wag mo masyadong sisihin sarili mo sir Jehz. Wala ka naman kasalanan dun.
    At kita naman sa mga koments yung dami ng nagmamahal sayo.. ^_^

  28. Grabe, Master Jehz, I really don’t know what to say… Ngayon ko lang nabasa itong post mo, sorry, I was very busy in the past few weeks. I really thought na makaka survive ang dad mo, kasi nga naiuwi mo na nga siya sa bahay. I even saw the pictures you posted, pati yung gaming room mo, nilagyan mo pa ng parang hospital bed to accommodate him. Don’t feel sorry, because, you did all you can do. Ako rin, when my dad died, I blamed myself, kasi dami kong mga bagay na nais ibigay at ipadama sa kanya na hindi ko nagawa. Kaya binibigay ko ngayon sa mommy ko na nabubuhay pa at mga kapatid. There are things na ‘di talaga mapapantayan ng pera, yun ang buhay ng ating mga mahal na magulang… Pero tinakda sa tao ang mamatay pagkatapos nito paghuhukom… About sa phone operator ng PGH, napaka walang awa naman nila at walang galang, ang Diyos na ang bahala sa kanila! Dapat talaga merong mga emergency number ng ambulance. Dahil kahit nung bago mamatay ang dad ko, talagang nasa hospital na kami ng Malabon, ililipat nalang yung dad ko sa Fatima hospital sa Valenzuela, halos mag makaawa pa kami. At least, kung Private emergency ambulance hotline, kahit may bayad, ‘di kana kailangang mag makaawa. Everything works together for our good. Let me share to you the Bible verse that my dad gave when he was still alive, if you have a Bible, please read Psalm 23:1-6. Be strong! God bless!

  29. Jehz, I’m sure it meant more to your dad na you were together rather than having those material things that he wanted. We can only do so much for people we love di ba? :)

    Salamat sa pizza. ;)

  30. This is soo sad. Napakawalang puso naman ng mga tao na hindi tumulong sayo. Hindi nila alam ang pakiramdam kasi hindi nila kapamilya yung naghihingalo. Condolence po pala sayo.. Godbless you always..

  31. ” Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you ” – Steve Jobs.

    Condolence….

  32. oh jehz… so sorry about this. grabe pala ang nangyari…. didn’t know bout this.

    i think the fact that you have every intention to make your dad happy and healthy is enough for him. Im sure he is happy where he is now but not-so-happy seeing you hurting.

    hey, just shoot me a message if you need anything.

    hugs

  33. Life’s like that and has to pass away from this world. Just consider while you are still alive, do the best that you can and share to others the good, even the bad experiences you had.

    Condolence to you Jehz.

  34. This is the latest history sa bansa natin na dapat pagtuunan ng pansin. Mga tao sa mga hospitals dapat di kau mamimili ng pasyente at yan ay inyong ipinangako noong kau ay nag oath taking. Kung ung operator naman ay hindi nurse or doctor, eh sana naging considerate naman at sana inisip nya nalang sana na sa kanya nangyari ung nangyari kay Jehz. Whewww! Tao talaga!!!

  35. hi jehz!

    condolence sa yo and to the whole family jehz…alam ko makakayanan nyo yan coz we both felt the same way when i lost my daughter 5 years ago. i thought i couldn`t help it but i did. We`ll always pray for your dad and your family also. Godbless!!!

  36. OMG! Grabe nakakaiyak. Grabe naman mga ambulance. Condolence po. It’s God’s will and you’re dad is in His hands now. I’m sure your dad understands that you did your best.

  37. Condolence po.

    Nakakalungkot talaga na may insensitive na mga tao sa mundo.

    Sana lang naisip nila na kaya nga humihingi ng ambulance ay dahil may emergency nga. :-(

  38. Jehz~ Ngayon lang uli ako nakabalik rito sa page mo, Ngayon ko lang rin ksi naibalik yung link page ko and I feel sorry for what happened sa dad mo. I know that it’s already been weeks pero syempre nakakalungkot pa rin yung nangyari. Sana lang you’re doing fine na despite that. :wink:

    Pero nakakainis talaga yung PGH ah~ Amp! :twisted:
    (hindi rin napigil. LOL!)

    Nga pala, I’m back with Blogger, hindi ko na naituloy yung Rashid Online eh.. >.<

  39. Jehz, my heart bleeds upon learning this.My condolences! I didn’t know not until today. Be strong jehz! Right now am praying for you. I am asking God to comfort you, give you peace amidst this trying time! I speak blessing to you and declare in God’s name complete healing to you and your family! God bless you jehz!

    I dont have your number anymore. Please email me with your number :)

  40. my deepest condolences Jehz.. Talagang ganyan ang Gov Hospital kaya yang mga tao jan hnd umaasenso kasi hnd nila ginagawa ng tama ang mga trabaho nila.. :lungkot:

  41. No matter how painful things have become, we always have to move on. I believe in you. You are such a strong person.

    I’ve met you before in TriNoMa bloggers’ food tour. :)

    • makiki-reply jason ha… boto ako sa idea mong i-online mob ang PGH. horrific how they handled jehz call and his father’s emergency. sarap isumbong ke tulfo o ipa-imbestigador! mga walang kaluluwa. sana pag kamag-anak nila nagka-emergency they get the same treatment kahit sa PGH din sila. nagalit ako pagkabasa ko!

  42. ngayon ko lang ito nabasa kuyah… i’m shocked… both at the lack of sense of urgency of the PGH operator who took your call and your calmness over the whole thing. kung ako yun kuyah naligo at nilunod ko na siya sa mura at talagang sinugod ko siya sa PGH even after the whole thing, just to give him a piece of my mind.

    bow ako sa ‘yo kuyah… you still had composure and inner peace kahit sa ganitong sitwasyon. i really wish i can have those things kasi war freak at emotional ako.

    just the same, my heartfelt condolences kuyah. di pa tayo nagkikita pero para saken karugtong ka na ng buhay at pamilya ko. i just wish i could have been there to help kahit sigurado akong mega-panic ako kung nandun ako.

    kuyah, i’m just a text away… kung kelangan mo ng kausap or whatever. i really feel sad and guilty na hindi man lang kita napuntahan sa ospital or funeral home. late ko na kasi nalaman… alam mo naman madrama din buhay ko those days kaya di kita nate-text para kamustahin…

  43. Condolence. Your dad is in a better place now. Nakaka-iyak naman yung nangyari. Naiinis din ako sa sagot ng PGH Operator sa yo :(

    Mag 10 years na ring wala ang father ko but every time I remember him, I still cry.

  44. Jehz, ngayon ko lang nabasa to. I’m sorry to hear about your loss. May God continue to give you the strength to move on. Your dad is in a much better place now.

  45. parang nakita ko ang tatay ko sa tatay mo bro….sorry about this one bro…

    he is happy to where he is…let us just hope that there is twitter and facebook in heaven..so that we may have the chance to read his status :D

  46. My sincerest condolences to you, Jehz. I feel your pain cause I also lost my 2-year old son last August 2011 in a vehicular accident. However painful it is to lose a loved one, we have to accept what happened and free ourselves from guilt. They are now happily resting in heaven with our Loving Father.

  47. noong araw na pinost mo ito ay nabasa ko kaagad ito, at di ko na nagawang magcomment kasi napaluha ako.

    ang tatay ko ay 4 months ahead lang sa tatay mo Kuya Jehz’. at masakit talaga mawalan ng tatay. :(

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